Rest in the creator’s arms

05Feb10

Yesterday was one of the saddest day of my life. I woke up with my mom rushing to get out of the house, teary eyed and on panic. I didn’t asked her why, instead, I took a shower and got ready for work.

I had to admit, I was worried, but I chose  not to call her cause I know she’s on panic and I don’t want to add some stress. Instead said to myself , If that’s really important, she’ll let me know.

So I got at the office, opened my personal mail, and facebook. And then I read from my cousin’s status message:

My nanay Henya (grandmom) passed away this 6 am.

I couldn’t believe what I read. I closed my eyes and prayed. Ask for the Lord’s guidance and to give our family some strength if it is true. An hour after, my mom called and confirmed the sad news.

I stare at a blank screen on my computer, thinking thoughts about her. I’m not a Lola’s girl but she has been a part of our lives. I remember the days she stays overnight at home when mom is out for a trip. When she cooks food for us, organizes my closet, stitches my old clothes and my last vivid memory of her – when I asked her to do some alterations on my dress for the wedding two weeks ago.

For some reason, I didn’t shed a tear, well until now I hasn’t. I still can’t see the reason behind, but I know my soul mourns inside. Last night as I was about to sleep, I tweeted this line from jay-z’s Song Cry

I can’t see em comin down my eyes. So I gotta make this song cry.

Five minutes later, I got a reply from S

You don’t have to cry. You have the option to celebrate all the days she was alive, ‘stead of putting emphasis on this 1 day

Her words just hits the spot. I’m speechless with a smile on my face for the first 5 minutes or so. I had a sudden change of emotions as if my reset button was push deep.

Today, I woke up with a lighter feeling. Better than yesterday for sure. Carrying a lot of prayers for my Lola and family. Thanking the Lord for the life He has given for my dearest grandmother.

I will miss my grand mom for sure. She bonds her 12 kids  and the clan like crazy. I will miss you so much nanay. May you rest in peace, now that you’re with your creator and with Tatay’s arms. I love you.

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